We used to be Okay. Were we bragging? Did we rub other somebody upstairs the wrong way? Someone decided we have to be like the rest of the world and so they let one person loose. Just one person, and this is what happens- lock down.
The number crunchers are crunching numbers. Stress levels are high. Scared to go outside, even for a walk. (Even though I need it.) Wary of strangers every time someone comes nearer than they’re supposed to. Wash your hands, wash, your hands, wash your hands. Hahah! That reminds me of an episode of Rocko’s Modern Life. You remember that, (don’t you?) a cartoon show about a wallaby. (That’s an Australian marsupial that looks like a Kangaroo-for anyone who doesn’t know.)
Can’t go anywhere except in an emergency. Can’t do anything except stay at home. Streaming services are making a motza. We sit around and mindlessly binge TV. I’m in this room, the TV is on in the background. Silence sends me into a tail spin. Make me laugh, I beg you.
I’m over it. I bet you are, too. Work is a saving grace, though. Gives me something to focus on, something to look forward to, even if it’s only a few hours each shift.
I have a to-do list this long, little of which is getting done. Haven’t got the motivation. I’m spending more money on food and the occasional drink. You’re eating more, too, aren’t you? Take out not, eat out. Restaurants suffer. Cafes are just making do. This ‘thing’ that shall remain unnamed, is making us think of new ways of making money. Switch to online- well, we all have to make a living.
The masks suffocate. I saw an old dude wearing a mask that was so filthy it must’ve been useless, but you can’t say anything. People are going nuts and you don’t know what will push them over the edge. Beyond Blue, Lifeline, ReachOut, St Vinnies, The Salvation Army all work overtime, and some of us who need to call them, are scared of calling or reluctant to call. Listen to the sirens outside. The choppers hovering overhead.
This imprisonment, the enforced paper bagging. Inability to breathe. Dear God! Don’t watch the news. You can’t do much about it and it feeds the fear. Fear, fear, fear: THE word of the last couple of years. I look at history and know we will get over it, but riding the wave is the hardest part. Trying to stay afloat and hope we don’t drown.
I’m reminded of the time I was swimming at the beach, I was in my early 20’s, got caught in a rip, was tiring and a young stranger, he might have been about 12, gave me a lift on his surfboard to a place near the shore where I could stand. I was so grateful I’ll never forget it. Never saw him again and wouldn’t recognise him if I did. But that’s what happens. We’re all angels for each other capable of doing the right thing, of helping each other when the chips are down.
You feel like you’re alone in this little bubble, hoping that the bubble doesn’t burst. You wonder when it will all end, and you feel angry and helpless and maybe you even wonder if it is the end. Christians have been looking forward to this for hundreds of years. I haven’t. This world is so exquisite, it’s a mathematical improbability that we even exist. Who wants to take that away?
I despair at the destruction we have wrought and the dinosaurs with their dinosaur thinking and their staid ways who selfishly refuse to change. I wish I could make them. Escapist policies? Huh! We’ll take your technology and use it to repair and renew and restore, thank you. Humans are nothing if not inventive and resourceful. I think that’s why we’ve lasted this long.
Creativity, however small, however badly executed, is another saving grace. Creativity is life. Design is in everything we have, do, see and are. At the end of it all, I’m thankful for the miracle of each new day, and the sunshine that’s a ray of hope.
